Parents are, and should be, the primary sexuality educators of their children. Most parents want to discuss sexuality with their children but feel unprepared to do so.

Resources for Parents

Talking Tips for Parents

  • Be an “askable” parent.  Reassure your child that he or she can ask you about anything.
  • Answer questions simply and truthfully.  If your child is old enough to ask, she or he is old enough to hear the correct answer and learn the correct words.
  • You do not have to know everything.  If your child asks a question and you do not know the answer, suggest that you find the answer together.
  • Know what is taught about sexuality in your schools, faith community and community groups.  You may wish to reinforce these teachings or point out how they are different from your family’s values and approach.
  • Be aware of the “question behind the question.”  The unspoken question “Am I normal?” is often lurking behind your child’s questions about sexual development, sexual thoughts and sexual feelings. Reassure your child, as often as possible, that he or she is normal.
  • Listen more than you speak.  Make sure you understand the question your child is asking. If your child uses a word or term that you do not understand, ask her or him to describe it in a different way so you can answer the question as honestly as possible.
  • Be aware of how you react to questions about sexuality from your child.  The way in which you react to questions is often more important than what you actually say. If you feel uncomfortable talking about sexuality or a particular topic, acknowledge to your child that this is difficult for you, but important for his or her health.

Books

Beyond the Big Talk: Every Parent’s Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Teens from Middle School to High School and Beyond
Debra W. Haffner, New York: Newmarket Press, 2001.

Families are Talking.
A newsletter containing information to help all parents and caregivers talk to their children about sexuality and related issues.  Available in English and Spanish, in print and online at: www.familiesaretalking.org.

Family Connections: A Guidebook for Parent of Children
Family Health Council (412) 288-0518.

Healthy Teens, Body and Soul: A Parent’s Complete Guide to Adolescent Health
Andrea Mark and Betty Rothbar. New York: Skylight Press, 2003.

Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent’s Guide to Talking Sense about Sex
Deborah Roffman. Cambridge, MS: Perseus, 2001.

The Real Truth About Teens and Sex: From Hooking Up to Friends with Benefits – What Teens are Thinking, Doing and Talking About, and How to Help Them Make Smart Choices
Sabrina Weill.  New York: Perigee, 2005

Words Can Work: When Talking With Kids About Sexual Health
Jeanee Blaks.  Gloucester, MA: BlakeWorks, 2004.

Web Based Resources